The Suburb's Fortgotten Appendix

I’ll admit I never thought much about footpaths before moving to a state of Australia where cycling on them is legal. But oh how I defend that barrier protected strip of concrete at the side of each road now I know it is legally as good as a cycle track!

There’s just one problem with footpath crusading. It’s bloody depressing. I wish I had taken a photo of the Mercedes I saw parked over a footpath in Nijmegen in the Netherlands last year. It was in front of a church and belonged to the priest who was mowing the church lawn.

The footpath is the suburb’s appendix. No one is quite sure why it was put there. Perhaps it’s from a time when mothers pushed prams instead of carrying them in the backs of their cars to the mall? Perhaps the footpath was built for the postman to ride his motorbike on? Or maybe it was planned from the start as a place to park half a car?

Tasmanians are struggling a little more than usual tonight with this relic from the 40s. We understand it is an acceptable place to leave a police car:

pavement parking jpg

What strikes us as deviant is the idea of using it lengthways, as one enterprising prol has taken to doing on his motorised esky. It may have less power than an electric assist pushbike, but riders of those don’t go on the footpath. Hell, using the footpath, lengthways… someone might scratch a parked car!


No one, you will see from that footage, has been more bamboozled by this new use of the footpath, for transport, than the police spokesman whose logic is not even as clear as my own with this satirical blog post. He wouldn’t be the only one looking at the footpath and wishing some surgeon would just cut it out.


  1. Scott Aitch says:

    “Hell, using the footpath, lengthways… someone might scratch a parked car!”
    I love it! I have a bit of a “thing” about the peculiar Launcestonian habit of parking cars on footpaths. I don’t understand why we, as a society tolerate some selfish people making footpath users go on to the road to avoid their parked vehicles. Roads are for traffic, not parked cars. Footpaths are not for cars full stop.

  2. Just says:

    Hey, you Launcestonian! We here in Hobart park our cars on footpaths like bosses! So keep your exceptionalism, will you!

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