A message for anyone racing against me today

Today is Saturday, and Saturday is race day, when men must hold onto their power. For each of us knows, some death-or-glory decisions await us today. In the lead up, we will not even glance at a women, least of all those seductresses who we once married, trotting around like they do, in their pyjamas all morning. We turn instead to the internet, and wholesome bike blogs, like cycle-space, where we can be assured of finding not the slightest temptation. I understand, fella. You have come for your fill of bad news about road laws, door zones, and thoughtless bike racks, so that when you get out of your saddle to sprint or attack, you will have all of this misery as something to be leaving behind.
Put that way, Saturdays seem hardly worth waiting all week for. Perhaps there is room in your mind for a feel good ditty, by two guys on a box bike. Just avert your offending eye when pretty Dutch girls on bikes appear incidentally. And I guess, since you survived that, if wont hurt to watch this clip of the Bike Song. Just don’t look when the boys’ saddles start pointing suggestively at the girls’ legs near the end.
I feel bad now, especially for any of you reading who might be racing against me later today. You shouldn’t have to live your lives dressed in your hair-shirts. So come on, let’s live a little, why don’t we? A click glance at that old clip by Queen, should not hurt us, correct? It’s not like either of us have the name Samson, and are easily weakened by Delilahs like these. Phew. We still have our mojo. We can watch anything. Eat my dust, sucker 🙂
Disclaimer: no reputations were harmed in the making of the above clips. My own, by contrast, lies in tatters for linking to them. I have it on good authority, from the provider of my own lovin’, that pornography outside of contexts where people actually go in search of it, perpetuates the treatment of women as objects of no worth, except to men. Having been to Ukraine, and seen how heels get higher as welfare gets lower, I do take my Primrose’s point, although it’s easy to mindlessly enjoy yourself in a fairer and more affluent country like this one.


  1. Edward says:

    Oh my goodness. What a treasure trove. There I was, home alone on a Saturday afternoon because the family was at a children’s party. I make a cup of coffee before checking out my favourite bike blogs and this is what I find. I must admit to having feelings of guilt. It was a bit like watching Baywatch by yourself on a Saturday afternoon in the 90’s.

  2. Edward says:

    Now that’s more like it. $500 is not bad at all. I’d need to get permission of course. I think it’s going to be a longer term project. Your wise words have been most helpful.

Leave a Reply to Steven Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *