Gents let's play some Bicycle Polo

Three cheers for our regular reader WeCanRideGiants for finding these most dignified helmets from Yakkay—not available in Nanny State Central, most likely due to the cost of appeasing the Australian Standards racketeers. Perfect for bicycle-polo though, a sport once played on dragsters, before we of Gen-X moved to BMX, and one I had thought would be an Olympics sport by now. In any case I have emailed Yakkay with the view to buying 11 in each colour, and will now need only to arrange numbered bibs. The decline of lawn bowls has left us with many suitable playing fields.
I call on you all now to round up a crew for our first hit out. Will we all be available at 2pm Sunday 21 March, to meet at the abandoned bowling green overlooking King Edward Park? This will give us each time to fabricate whackers—relatively safe ones, please. If in doubt a broom might suffice. The ladies can all bring their deck chairs and provide chicken sandwiches and lemonade for the children. If they dress up too, we’ll have a smashing good time.

STOP PRESS AGAIN! A number of ladies have indicated they would like to play too, a request to which I am happy to acquiesce, so long as they are able to fabricate safe whackers with heads not inclined to fly off. 

As a condition of entry, all players are gently encouraged to register as Newcastle Voice members, our way of telling those car driving lard arse corpulent bourgeois city fathers of ours to ban all cars from the city and only allow cyclists.


  1. Anonymous says:

    I keep loking at that hot Sloaney couple and am just waiting for them to kiss. Of course it never happens. They’re in a picture.

    But my mind wanders off and I imagine them realising their deep unfulfilled longing. They can smell the heady aroma of horses, leather saddles and old money in each other’s fahionably unfashionable, bespoke fitted jackets. The thought of horses makes him want to do her slowly from behind. She’s thinking of him riding through the purple moor on a gleaming white stallion (actually gleaming black Pashley Guv’nor) to rescue her from the impending storm. Regardless of which fantasy you prefer, her double chin is going to be doing a lot of swaying.

    Oh God! A cold shower and several bicycle polo matches in the fresh air ought to cure me of this filthy habit.

    • Steven says:

      Thoughts and opinions of posters to Behoovingmoving livejournal are not necessarily shared by Dr. Behooving nor the live journal corporation. (Unless of course they apply to minxes on ponies, oh, oh, HOME WRECKERS all of you!)

      • Howdy Behooving. Thanks for the three hurrahs, mighty sporting of you. The bicycle polo is a great idea but I am out for this Sunday unfortunately. I loved Anonymous’ hearty tale of chivalrous debauchery. Classic. “The thought of horses makes him want to do her slowly from behind”. I keep re-reading that and laughing my double chin off. Gold!

        • Steven says:

          Dear Giants, I am pleased actually, that you will be away, as I would rather iron out difficulties in your absence, and that way ensure safe, orderly game play for the occasion when you may join us. The 4 lots of 11 helmets may be here by then also.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Count me in Doctor. APH-S

  3. Anonymous says:

    hell keen. gus

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