Road Rules for Cyclists

The only rule that I am personally aware of, is that bikes don’t go on water. Hovercrafts can. But they’re different.

Otherwise every horizontal surface is fair game, if you’re on a bike.

The footpath, that’s yours. The cycleway is definitely yours. Also, both sides and the middle of the road are yours too. As are the interiors of all public buildings: you can ride up to counters if you need to pay bills, into shops, into lifts, right up to your work desk, etc etc.

Cars must stop for cyclists at pedestrian crossings, while paradoxically—nay hypocritically some have complained—pedestrians on crossings must allow cyclist on the road to continue unhindered. Drivers and pedestrians must be doubly alert near interface zones, lest cyclists suddenly trasmogrify, as is their right, by turning from the lane onto the crossing, or the crossing in to the lane.

As a cyclist you are perfectly entitled to pedal in the direction you are thinking of going. Likes crows in the sky, or sailboats on water, you have absolute right of way on the earth. You may ride across anyone’s land. Golf courses, bowling greens, cricket pitches, runways—all yours to ride on. If I seem to be belaboring my point here, it is to get this across as a natural law, that one in fact senses the moment their father lets go of the seat and they feel they are flying.

In india cyclists share these divine rights with the cows. In France it is a fact that poodles on bikes, if they are pedaling, may demand money from strangers. Wherever in the world traffic engineers have attempted to bring us back down to earth the results have been nothing but farcical.

There is one caveat though, to this rule! If you find yourself being abused, either by motorists, or by pedestrians, I would say your riding is in need of finesse. Perhaps you’ve been forgetting to smile, or have been unmindful of subtleties, or perhaps your body betrays some unresolved hatred toward one of your parents. Whatever the reason, you should go back to taking the bus.   


  1. Anonymous says:

    Continuing with the Scandotheme, it is behooven of you to google “Allemansratten”, which directly translated means “Every mans Right” but in practice is the name of the law relating to every Swedes right to use any land they damn well please. Feet, bike, Private land, public land, any land, you name it, it’s yours to use in whatever manner you like as long as you use it respectfully and with minimal impact. You can even set up camp for 24 hours on someone else’s property and they can’t stop you, nor for that matter would they want to. Imagine such a law in Australia? Here in our fair land it seems even walking within close proximity to someones property is a call to arms. Think Sydney’s elitist harbour fronting eastern suburbs, or our very own Lake Macquarie. Try and take a pleasant walk along the foreshore past their well placed locales and here the expletives fly. Even my old man, park ON THE ROAD out the front of his house at your peril, set up camp on the public footpath outside and sweet lord pray for mercy.
    I don’t really know how this relates to your topic, but what I am trying to say is surely there is room for all of us to go about our business without having some javla kukhuvud [Scando homework to learn dirty phrase] getting all up in my face, disturbing my ride and telling me they have more right to be a user than I do.
    Bugger, me old Da would be proud of this rant.

    • Anonymous says:

      The only swedish word I know sounds like fetta, referring to something that can smell like cheese… I digress.
      The bicycle see, is your tool for dealing with those territorial fettas. Their swearing and cursing at one’s back, become ambient after a while. “Get a car,” they may yell. It is cry for help though, knowing they will be dead much sooner than you.

      • Anonymous says:

        Like CHEESE? Hahahahahahaha, hilarious. If the word you are alluding to is the one I think you are, then I reckon you are sourcing your cheese from the wrong shop. Classic!

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