Match each of your friends to a bike.

Know a designer geek living in the 30s still? Match them to this one. Sorry Chappo, but I got your name on the top tube. And your name Martin on the other top tube. And yours Miss Chris on that Mondrian tube under the seat, and there look to be enough tubes for the names of every true believer in le Project Modern, who still dreams they’ll become the next Gerrit Rietveld. 

I know a guy who’s last name is Wood, and who is a genius when it comes to working with wood, who I could all too easily match to a wooden bike that shares his first name (enlarge the one on the left and look at the decal). Oh, but I would not blame Mr Wood-I-love-wood for poo pooing those ridiculous lugs, in which case I might then steer him toward this wooden racer, or the wood and copper  "bit-different"  bike pictured beside it. Mr Wood is, after all, and in his own words, "a bit different", hey Mr Wood? 


I actually don’t know anyone who I could match to a bike worth $150000. If you’re out there though, and if you like keeping much poorer friends, and if you like giving poor friends your money— 

Neither do I happen to know anyone so wed to car culture that they would ride a mercedes. The option is there though.

Oh, but I do know some Betties. If you’re reading this Zinny.



  1. Anonymous says:

    wooden bike

    if mr wood has a bike made from wood, what does Mr Beaches bike look like?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Beech wood? No. Sand? That’s ridiculous. Alright, some kind of resin infused kelp? Yes, that would do it!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Does that bike come with a set square?

    Didn’t someone, at some point, establish that triangles are a more sensible structure than squares? I don’t like it when people mess with the perfected form of a bike.

    • Steven says:

      Re: Does that bike come with a set square?

      May I encourage you to go back and read your old Theo van Doesburg textbooks from high school, and revisit Mondrian’s and Gerrit Rietveld’s texts too. The baubike at once adumbrates and signifies Plato’s ideal realm of Forms, where The Idea of Gravity Itself, and Bicycle Itself are discrete entities. See for example how Rietveld’s chair and house obviate gravity.
      Thank you for a wonderful comment though. Any epistemological questions, feel free to ask.

  4. Anonymous says:

    the mercedes

    I love the mercedes bike, deplore car culture, and you know me…

    • Steven says:

      Re: the mercedes

      If you say I know you, I have no doubt I know you. But please keep in mind, I know at least 5 or 6 people. Could you narrow it down, so I might guess?

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