Now Earth Hour has fizzled, it’s time for BIKE HOUR

your road retard

Cycling poses a serious threat to drive-time radio DJs (look right), psychiatrists, heart surgeons, and anyone who profits from this miserable state of affairs, called car dependence. They look at these people who are fast enough to avail themselves of the road network, yet nimble enough to use alleys and other shortcuts meant for pedestrians, and they fear their jigs could be up, that maybe one day the whole city will realise that these loopholes are out there, for everyone, not just these weirdos who the jerk-jocks call “sssscyclists” (gritting their teeth). All the city’s captives would fly away free, if they realised they too could be cyclists, that to be a cyclist, is nothing special.

Cyclists are not confined to either following footpaths, or crawling in columns of cars. We can do either, both, each, one then the other, this one then that one, then look out, we’re back being cars, no we’re pedestrians, watch the birdy, fphe-e-ew, another cyclist disappears out of view. We’re dancing, cheating, weaving, bring bring, “excuse me, EXCUSE ME! Yes please keep over sir, there are bikes coming through.”

There are 1.6 working bikes per household, here in Australia, and I presume similar numbers in other fledgeling bike nations. Imagine if all those bikes, could all be in use, all at the same time.  I don’t mean all in one place, like a critical mass ride. I mean all over the place, at the one time. Forget Earth Hour: that thing did nothing. Imagine Bike Hour, 11am Saturday Morning, on the first Saturday of… I don’t know: Lent! Yes, at 11am on the first Saturday of Lent (whenever Lent is) everyone in the world who owns a bike, will ride out their door, and go wherever they jolly well like. Up gutters. Across roads. Along roads. On water. Down footpaths. On cell phones. I don’t care what you all do. Do your own thing, but with the knowledge that in your own way, in a place of your choosing, you’re a part of a world wide outpouring of passive resistance, and reason.

Bunched up together in critical mass rides, cyclists are beholden to herds. But it’s to avoid being herded, that most of us ride. No, screw being herded. Let’s keep our mass outpouring simple, and closer to home. Let’s observe Bike Hour.

Can anyone tell me when Lent is?

p.s. since writing this post, and with some help from a reader (see comments) I’ve settled on 20 March (the equinox) as the best date, from 6-7pm (your time).

9 Comments

  1. Robert says:

    Lent starts 40 days before Easter.

    Allegedly Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, is on 22 Feb this year.

    http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/lent.html

    • Steven says:

      ahhh, Bike Hour happens on 25 Feb! So little lead time for promotion. Everyone, Bike Hour is 11am on the 25th of this month! Get the word out there!

  2. Joe D says:

    But “doing things for lent” is meant to be about fasting and abstinence — denying yourself the things that bring pleasure and nourishment. Giving up sitting on your arse in traffic jams in favour of the wind in your hair on a bicycle? That doesn’t sound like lent.

    How about spring equinox, 20 Mar? (Sorry weirdos who choose to live on the wrong side of the earth.)

    • Steven says:

      Spring equinox it is! If we make it 6pm, both hemispheres can participate in daylight. Joe, you’re a genius!

  3. […] it’s time for a worldwide bike hour. Vancouver starts a new campaign to promote bike and pedestrian safety but continues to blame the […]

  4. Jess says:

    I can’t believe 1.6 is the average bike ownership per household. I’m sure every garage has at least two. Was that on the census? It shld have been, cyclists probably need more beaurocratic visibility in order to get “stuff” happening in this country.

  5. Vicki says:

    So do we promote bike hour? I can put a post on my blog about it. Do you have a poster to promote it?

    • Steven says:

      I think I got 619 hits on the day I posted that one (a good day), plus I got ping backs from all over the world. I would be very surprised if news of huge numbers of cyclists doesn’t filter back from all over the world.
      But, honestly, it could use some publicity 🙂

Leave a Reply