Scouting for Daughter-in-Laws in Rotterdam

You know the English never get over their jetlag when they come to the Netherlands. They get stuck running hostels in Amsterdam, dreaming they’re only dreaming about smoking weed. All I have consumed though, are 2 wholesome sandwiches, one bowl of lentil soup, apple cake and two espressos from a joint here in Rotterdam with that polished floor that says “serious barista” more clearly than words can. So despite having not slept for 36 hours, and despite hitting a new record low just a few hours ago, when I took this cliched “sad” photo of a Dutch field through a train window…

…I’m now feeling almost awake! Awake enough maybe to last until Euro bed time before going to bed.

Okay, so I’ve just drank two glasses of Hoegaarden and am looking at  Happy Hour here at Hostel ROOM in Rotterdam: free WiFi, 2.50Euro pints, and free drinks for kids under 15. I’ll resist taking photos until they play spin the bottle, but trust me, this is the youngest crowd of drinkers I’ve seen since I was on shandies myself. They are distracting me from my other big news, which is the Netherlands Architecture Institute’s newly unveiled extensions.

The way NAi are spending money, in the teeth of Greece and Ireland’s austerity, can have only one explanation: my awesome book that they’re publishing! They have done some projections, met with the European bank, and had their Amex cards all revised. The way they’re spending on buildings, those Amex cards can’t just be platinum. We’re talking Francium Amex cards, Tantalum Isomers Amex cards, or something really exotic like that. The great thing about that though, is they are building cool architecture for me to photograph with bikes in the foreground.

Now before going bed, let me tell you I have checked out of the under age drinking hostel, and moved into the hostel at Cube House, a building I “test rode” this time last last year (see clip below). I highly recommend hosteling to fathers of boys. If ever one of my sons brings home some average Australian girlfriend, he will be hog tied, blind cuffed, and will wake up here in the StayOkay hostel, where the “average” guest is 5’8″, 50kg, 18, blonde, with big clear eyes, cherry lips and a fine nose. I’ll make him stay here until he has married and bred with someone as pretty as his own mother, who rides a bike like their mother does too. Don’t worry my Primrose: I have this thing covered.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzqAo0VdJNg

 

2 Comments

  1. Chrissie says:

    Have a wonderful time in Europe. Hope the centurion uniform gets a rerun. The children and I are leaving sweet Paris on saturday, to meet Billy boy in Athens for a tour of the fatherland, and an olympic race of our own. I am loving the hire bikes here, and electric cars. Swapping the jungle and fufu for beaches and pies for the school break in August. Will you be about? Chrissie

    • Steven says:

      Hey we just miss each other in Paris!!! Guess we’ll have to leave it until the Reid Tassie adventure when you all come stay at our place. I just checked out 6 degrees North for the first time and must say, you’re all on track to having their memoirs reviewed on Radio National. I have my world travel worked out such that I never feel as though I’ve left the comforts of home. The nearest to Africa I’ve been, is the train from Newcastle to Sydney 🙂

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