If everyone cycled I’d row

I woke up in a sweat, seeing my influence rising, and thinking of the people I have already inspired to buy bikes. If this goes on, Newcastle might overtake Melbourne as Australia’s cycling capital. I’m having nightmare visions of fair-weather cyclists on squeaky bikes Santa Clause gave them, with their seats too high and too low, infuriating drivers, wobbling all over… oh god help us all.

If I really thought I could be an agent of change, I would have to stop writing this blog. Cycling is like tying ones own bow tie, living in an architect designed home, surfing, designing suits for your tailor to make you, living in the city overlooking the sea, having a doctorate. It is not for the unwashed, who I should ask to stop reading. 


  1. Phew, after much fluffing I have managed to A. Register, B. Forget and then be re-issued with another password, C. Find King Behooving’s blog of wonderment; and D. Ummm, there is no D.

    Not for the unwashed? Cycling is allll about the unwashed. It is the UNSHAVEN that be the troublemakers and it be THEY, yea verily, who deserve a good old fashioned biblical smiting. Is it not the act of shaving that delineates a cyclist from someone who merely rides a bike? So might I ask that the word “unwashed” be removed and the word “unshaven” be inserted in its place.

    On the topic of removing things. Might I lodge a formal protest regarding the weird looking semi nude dudes advertising some kind of weight loss program to the right of the screen. It freaks me out.

  2. Steven says:

    yea verily indeedy weedy

    I would gladly acquiesce to your polite and reasonable request, were my choice of words not so personally satisfying. I so love referring to “the other” (also pronounced “dah uva”) as the great unwashed, just as I delight in including everyone but my own seed and I within that category.
    For the record I should confess to letting my own leg hair grow on occasion, although last night I note the hairs on my earlobe needed emergency treatment.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Now you know you can do both;-)

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