I really do hate those charity bike rides

It irks me that, just because I ride bikes, I am often asked to cycle for charity. Let’s be fair now: is every person who regularly drives, accosted at least a few times per year, about giving up their sundays, to drive to raise money for kiddies? It is only as a symptom of cyclists being freaks in my country, that we get approached in this way. We’re approached most often by regular drivers, just after they have gone out and bought racing bikes and day-glow jerseys, that they are now using for “training”, in preparedness for some week long ride that any Dutch mum could knock over in half a day.

Rather than giving bikes a bad name, it would be better if they just joined a Variety Bash, that Australian institution that each year consumes a tanker load of lead petrol, culls kangaroos, gives its participants cumulative head injuries that most wouldn’t notice, and I believe raises five hundred bucks for McDonalds.

 

Congratulations to Helen Skelton, for being the first limbless victim of frostbite, to cycle to the South Pole, in aid of victims of frostbite. We would all be pleased, if for your next trip, you chose to make something other than bikes look retarded. Are you sure you couldn’t have taken your car down?

1 Comment

  1. Edward says:

    “in preparedness for some week long ride that any Dutch mum could knock over in half a day”
    Yes. Finally, someone tells it like it is.

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