Today for your edification and learning, a series of photos aimed at showing young punters how to win sprints. These photos are of me winning C-grade last Sunday, in a race that nobody seriously contested, because everyone I race with in C-grade is a burglar protecting his or her current low grading to increase their chances of winning a feature race scheduled to take place in October. As the only honest rider South of Bass Strait, it fell to me, yet again, to claim the win nobody wanted, and the $15 first prize. I have spent the $15 on a double page ad in The Examiner, decrying my competitors for making me win.
Step 1. Pedal like mad, breathing widely, with anguished facial expressions.
Step 2. Cast satisfied grin at your opponent (even though it’s obvious from these photos that he didn’t try).
Step 3. Coast over the line, thinking you’re Usain Bolt.
Though I know most of my readers don’t race bikes on the weekend, and prefer to think of themselves as saving the world with their Gazelles, there are occasions when all of us must sprint to glory, as when teaching lessons to people who overtake us in their lycra when we are commuting, or when passing kids, or when passing women, etc. etc.. Employ these tips, and maybe you too can look as silly winning as I looked last Sunday.