Help me convince my ol’ buddy that he doesn’t really want his new bike.

The first thing I had to do was raise that quill stem and angle the bars so they didn’t feel so much like hedge trimming sheers in my hands. Otherwise, out of the box and all set to roll. Now interestingly, Scoop’s 16 year old son is greedily eyeing his dad’s bike, and may well use it more. As for me, I’ll work on sabotaging Scoop’s best intensions to ride more.

You don’t want to turn into a cyclist, ol’ buddy Scoop! We are wretched, rained on, yelled at, impoverished souls. While you Scoop, you are someone people look up to. Your employer has packaged a car into your pay, as a tax dodge, with all manner of economic incentives to drive way more than you need to, even if just to enjoy the radio and air conditioning on a hot day. You’re Australian Scoop, and that’s the Australian way. Plus, you live in a hilly region that only has houses because cars exist. There is an enormous hill, and an uncrossable arterial road, between you, and any bike path. Gosh, even your own driveway is impossible to ride up on a bike.

You don’t own a floor pup, bike lock, panniers, or even a puncture repair kit! I’ve ridden with you Scoop, my ol’ buddy, and have seen your trepidation when riding past “no through road” signs, as though they might not provide passage to cyclists. Scoop, these are the very streets cyclists prefer! For almost 3 decades, it is driver behaviour that you have been having imprinted. You won’t enjoy cycling. So look, if you sell it to me right now, I’ll give you half whatever you paid.

8 Comments

  1. Ian Menzies says:

    Only half?I’ll give Mr Scoop 3/4!

  2. Lukas says:

    My neighbour pointed out yesterday that most languages make a difference between free (libre) and free (gratis / gratuit), except english. This means that once foreign language speakers have bought their bike and start riding, they are double as happy as english speakers! So, you need to make sure, Scoop is not enrolling in a Spanish, Italian or other such language at WTA. Otherwise you will have no chance on getting your mittens on his new toy!

    • Steven says:

      You know, looking at Google Analytics, I noticed my blog received 22 page views from people using google to search “Lukas Junker”. I hope this doesn’t confirm any uneasy suspicions 🙂

    • Lukas Junker says:

      Obviously I had to spread the word about bike hour on my facebook page, which may hopefully have generated the 22 extra hits. Other than myself, I don’t think anyone would have ever googled my name…

    • Lukas Junker says:

      See how long it takes for us non tech savvy people (me) to understand what google is trying to tell us: I must have read 22 blog posts, and what I was saying is true: I am your only reader who ever has googled the name! Uneasy indeed! Isn’t this supposed to stay between google and me? Will google ever forget what I did, when I was bored once a long time ago?

    • Steven says:

      I gave you the stalker theory as an alibi. It would have stood. But while you’re being confessional, is there anything else?

  3. Sacred Vow says:

    Would it be blasphemy to put white tires on that bike? Or La Paon fenders?

    Albatross handlebar might be good.

    Please post more pics!

  4. Jess says:

    What IS that? Does the photograph belie the bicycles true form or are those twin lateral stays added to a diamond frame? Roadster or mixte? Is there a structural purpose for this or identity crisis by design? I’ll have to look at achielle’s website, but surely the frame flex and step over enjoyed by mixte riders is negated by the Top tube? Forgive my ignorance, is this what is known as a modern truss frame? And what is the purpose? It is handsome no doubt, but do is Fabio

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