Bike apple bike station: cool or just kitsch?

If I am to trust those coolhunting blogs that chase anything natty and green, then the green-apple-shapped bicycle parking station in Alphen aan den Rijn in the Netherlands (by Wytze Patijn & Kuiper Compagnons architects) is a giant leap forward for humankind. I have put off blogging about it for some time, waiting for the right flattering line. But there is no positive angle from which to report on this structure—at least none that would convince my high-brow readers. It is true, isn’t it gentlemen, that we feel uneasy in the presence of kitsch.

The calculated pandering to popular taste evident in this bike parking spiral, bent into the shape of an apple, painted apple green, but ultimately built on the cheap, has the aesthetic delight of cheap clocks, stacks of coasters, kitchen timers and countless similar items, ultimately bound for one-dollar shops and then lawn sales.

For gods sake, haven’t our mothers bought us enough crap shaped like green apples for christmas and our birthdays! Must we be reduced to ending our bike trips in green apples as well! The value of architecture to cycling is that it can lend cycling prestige, not build infrastructure, that like too many bikes, looks like some rejected novelty product from Guangdong Province in China.